July 31st, 2005

hat

this is where it ends

I know that it's better to focus on the new things that are coming in life, rather than wax nostalgic about the things from the past, but I can never manage to do that. And it's getting harder and harder to deny that I'm leaving the Bay area in a matter of days. I said that there would be no tears at our going away party last night (except for in a specially designated room), but there were a few close calls for me. After saying goodbye to several close, wonderful people and realizing that I have no idea how long it will be before I see them again, it was pretty hard to retain my composure.

But, safe for a few such sad moments, the party was really great. Many thanks to eviladmin for hosting and for everyone else for coming. eviladmin's house is a pretty good space for a party: we had a dance floor, a comfy room to hang out in, and many spots for overnight crashers. One thing I didn't expect is that because there is so much more space than our apartment, the party was much lower energy, as everyone could spread out, become more horizontal, and not be within earshot of 7 different conversations at once. (Which reinforces my argument for higher population densities.) But it did have the nice feature that I spent more time talking to people one-on-one than I do at a usual party.

We stayed overnight and in the morning eviladmin cooked us an amazing breakfast of belgian waffles, fresh fruit, and pancakes. We hung out for a while, rearranged some furniture, and attempted to hang a painting using such common engineering tools as dental floss, lifesavers, and candles. Unfortunately, we did not quite succeed, but I'm sure that something will be worked out at a future bab5. We left around 2:30 because I still have a bunch of things to take care of in the day and a half I have left in the Bay area.

I've been feeling pretty down about leaving, but when I can manage to look forward instead of backwards, I am pretty excited about the move. I can't wait to move into our townhouse, pick up our new car, and start my new job. I also have to remind myself that I was pretty lonely when I first moved to Berkeley, but I eventually got over it. It took me most of a year to get to the point that when I would go on one of my frequent visits back to Canada, I would look forward to coming back. So I'm sure that with time, we will adjust to Chambana (or "banana shampoo," as a friend of mine calls it) as well and it will feel like home. I just wish it wasn't so far away...